when little bear came to us

Three days early, in the middle of summer, bear came to us. A son to raise and a love to give, we were so happy that our family grew bigger. 

I really thought that the baby water will come out first before the contractions, but it happened the same with my first birth, I had irregular contractions in the middle of the night, got stronger in the morning and then we went to hospital. I cried on the way to the hospital because I had to leave my first child to give birth to my second and I didn't stop crying during my first two weeks postpartum. I pushed harder and faster which resulted to complications after birth that I had to have blood transfusion. I couldn't hold the baby until the next morning because my body was so exhausted, my eyes were closing and I couldn't focus on anything that was going on. Luckily the hospital's midwives took care of us very well, me and my husband were able to rest after the birth. Everything went smoothly after that, besides the crying when I came home. I felt so guilty and sad that my first born has to share his mother with little bear, and two weeks after I still can't take care of them both without help. I guess I need practice and focus to juggle them both. I don't know what happens a month from now, to my mental, emotional and physical health, I just know that right now I have to survive the newborn stage, which means, I am chasing sleep and dealing with breast pain from breastfeeding.

Two birth stories I will cherish for the rest of my life, from my body came two beautiful sons and a promise to love and take care of them until the end of my life.